Saturday 21 February 2015

It's Raining

I made this blog with the best intentions to post regularly and keep up to date.  Despite the fact that I always intended to blog predominantly about mental health, it completely slipped my mind just how debilitating a depressive phase can be.  

It's scary how quickly you can sink back to the lows that you thought you'd hauled yourself out of.  Sure, you feel yourself slipping, but it's just a bad day.  Okay, maybe it's a bad week, well, at a push, a bad month.  Before you know it you've drawn the conclusion that life is definitely not worth it anymore and are planning your escape route.  

Pretending what's going on isn't happening doesn't make it any less real.  Telling yourself you're fine when you're chest feels like an empty, soulless cavity isn't going to make you feel whole again. Your mood is like your internal weather.  How can you live in the midst of a storm?  

'If it's raining it's no good saying it isn't raining. Water is actually falling from the sky.' - Stephen Fry 

When it rains, it rains, but it can't rain forever.  No one can avoid the odd shower of sadness, but even the most depressive downpours will ease off in time.  

Moods, like the weather can be unpredictable, but nothing happens without a reason.  When the clouds are saturated with water vapour it rains, when positive and negative charges meet there's lightning and when air heats up and expands there's thunder.  What goes on in the atmosphere can be a bit of a mystery and so can what's going on in the subconscious.  

I'm beginning to put the pieces together and figure out why things got so bad, but the truth is it would have been so much easier if I'd opened my eyes to the situation before it escalated.  You mightn't be able to control the rain, but if you know the forecast you can at least have your umbrella ready.    

2 comments:

  1. You are very wise. I enjoy reading your blog. I hope you're taking care of yourself.
    <3 Lee

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